Moving On

I'm moving on and on the move. Chris and I have a new blog to record our journeys, jags and jokes:

www.MobyTales.blogspot.com

Thanks to all of my followers, friends and family. I am happy to put "Breast Strokes" behind me!!!

"I'm Back" or March Madness Prevails

Liam and Declan visit the House of "March Madness".

Grandmom's Baby Declan

Happy Liam runs through the "Mad" Mess

Our "March Madness"

"Mad Martin"
"Mad Mess"



It's hard to believe that March is here and I am marking the 1 year anniversary of my breast cancer diagnosis. The 6 months following "chemo" saw a gradual return of my hair, strength and sense of well being. We are now making plans for our next trip across country and an adventure to Alaska this August.
Because we are most likely "out of our minds" we have started a kitchen remodel. Our own brand of "March Madness". The removal of cabinets led to the replacement of drywall, addition of insulation, re-wiring electrical, replacing old plumbing and the old water heater and.... the list goes on.
If all goes as planned, we will have the flooring in place and the drywall painted this week with the cabinets and countertop installed next week. Whew! Chris has put in a lot of sweat equity helping our contractor with labor. My job has been to decide on cabinets, counters, flooring, paint color etc. Not physically painful but, still difficult.

Last week, I completed the final phase of my breast reconstruction. My plastic surgeon is a genius and the end result is remarkable. I can now join the club who can wear the t-shirt that says "Yes, they're fake. My real ones tried to kill me!"

Spring is here. Life Is Good. Enjoy every day!

It's Back....

It has taken several months but I'm finally getting my hair back. It is gray and curls a bit with styling gel. My eyebrows and lashes have regrown, too. On the downside, my legs need to be shaved again. What I didn't expect to see was hair growing on my knuckles.

That is just not right!

Betty Furness, Eat your heart out!!

Betty Furness: Eat your heart out!!! As I wrote earlier, we had a complete appliance breakdown in Dec. The first and most necessary replacement has arrived. We love being able to see everything without having to bend over. This refrigerator is larger than the space that the old one inhabited, so it doesn't hurt my feelings that we will need to do a kitchen remodel. We are currently exploring the cost of cabinets, countertops and floors. The next step will most certainly be deciding what we can live without so we can afford it.

Coming Out

I can't believe that it has been almost a month since my last post. I have felt so well and have been busy enjoying the holidays.
I had my "coming out" last week but not like one might expect. It wasn't out of the closet or making my debut, but coming out from "under the hat". My hair has finally grown enough that my head is covered and I'm no longer in need of a head coverage. It has been a long, slow process. Hats have been part of my wardrobe since last May.
As I said, I have done very well since my surgery last month and had an enjoyable Christmas Eve with family. On Christmas morning, I awoke to the smell of coffee, a fire in the fireplace and 2+ inches of snow on the ground. It snowed all day and was so beautiful!! We've actually had snow, for the most part, since then.
I have had 2 follow-up appointments with the plastic surgeon and one expansion. It shouldn't be too long until I have my girlish figure back. Chris and I hope that I will be finished with everything by March so that we can take a trip south for a couple of weeks.
Since Thanksgiving, we have had a total appliance breakdown. First, it was the stove, followed by the dishwasher and then the refrigerator. I kid you not. We went ahead and ordered new stainless appliances with the plan of having them delivered in a few months after we had completed a kitchen update. We were doing ok without a stove and dishwasher but when the refrigerator quit, it was more than we thought we could do without. We called the store and as we waited for a delivery in about 24 hours, we unloaded the old one and put everything on the porch. Fortunately, the temperatures were well below freezing. That was not to be the end of our winter of "roughing it". We are in the process of changing propane companies and the new company said to call them when we got low so they could come and change out the tanks and fill us up. We use propane for our major source of heat. Well, the gauges weren't accurate and we ran out during a snow storm with sub freezing temperatures. It has been a week and the roads to our neighborhood haven't been cleared enough for the gas trucks to make a delivery. We do have baseboard heaters and I'm sure we will have an electric bill like none that we have seen before.
We have been busy trying to plan for new kitchen cabinets and all that will be needed for an update.
I am feeling great, full of energy and ready to take on a project.
I'll try to post a bit more often. (Pictures to follow)

A Wondrous Day

Today was a wonderful day. It started at 2:30 am with a look at the lunar eclipse. I then welcomed the winter solstice. This afternoon I went to see my plastic surgeon and my post op drains were removed. For those who have been there, you know how good it feels to have them gone.

Recovery is going well with only a little discomfort. It will take 3-4 months for the entire reconstruction process to be completed.

I've been enjoying many of the Christmas movies that are on t.v. this week and I'm actually getting into the holiday spirit.

Last Saturday, I got to Skype with my family in Washington at the annual family Christmas party. It was great to see and chat with so many family members. Next year I plan to be there. My NC family will gather here on Christmas Eve. The tree is up and decorated and my Santa Claus collection is displayed on the mantle.

Merry Christmas Everyone!!

Home again, Home again, jiggity jig....

Thursday Dec. 16, 2010
I was discharged home yesterday. We had no trouble with icy roads, thank goodness. I continue to do quite well especially with a little help from my pain pills. The entire process of re-contsruction should be completed in 6-8 weeks. Then I plan to go camping somewhere south and warm. Chris has been great and is helping with my "health care". No easy task when your wife is a nurse.

Surgery

10:45 pm:
I'm in my room at Mission Hospital in Asheville, NC. Surgery took about 3 hours and I was in recovery room by a little after 6 pm. The surgery didn't get started until after 3.
I had a little bit of unexplained but not too worrisome fast heart rate so I stayed in the Recovery Room until 9pm for observation.
By all accounts, the surgery went well. I am feeling quite good. No real discomfort but I feel sure that they did some nerve blocks as well, which haven't worn off.
Chris was a real trooper and hung out here from 11 am until after ten. I sent him back to our hotel, where we have been staying since Sunday. With the snow and freezing temperatures, I didn't want to take any chances about being unable to get to the hospital. It worked out well and we extended so Chris could stay the night and not have to drive home and back.
Thanks to everyone for your thoughts and prayers. I love you all! More updates later.

"On The Road Again"

After more than a year, I was finally "on the road again" and we were not unlike gypsies. Last week we went to Edisto Beach SC on a camping trip. Our goal was to head far enough south to actually find weather nice enough to "warm my bones". As luck would have it, the last warm day was the day before we got there. We arrived at the same time as a strong cold front. It was cold, it was windy and one day it was even rainy. That night the winds were strong and the entire island lost power. I did manage to take a walk on the beach every day but as you can see I had to exchange my bikini(sic) for my winter wear. The weather being what it was, we came home a few days earlier than planned. It was fun to be in our camper, AKA "Moby", again. We plan to head out again later this winter but the destination will be somewhere further south.

Yesterday, I had my pre-op visits with my surgical oncologist's NP and at the hospital. My surgery is scheduled for Tuesday Dec. 14th. I will be staying over night and will be doing some serious recoverying over the holidays. I will be glad to get this behind me and have a fresh start in the new year.

I'm also including another picture of Declan. Isn't he cute!!

Wishing Happy Holidays to one and all.

Introducing..

Declan Craig Braswell

Born 11/22/10 at 8:24am

8 pounds 6 ounces, 21 inches.
Proud parents: Patrick and Karen
Big Brother: Liam Joseph

Hairless Halloween

I'm still waiting for hair. Why does it seem like my husband's hair grows an inch a week and mine doesn't seem to grow at all? And now, my eyelashes and eyebrows are gone too. It did make it nice for Halloween. I could go as Uncle Fester from the Adams Family without even having to "dress up". We had a fun time with Harry "Leigh" Potter and the rest of the Gryffindor "Reece" Family.

I've had my consultation with the plastic surgeon but a surgery date is still to be determined. Both the plastic surgeon and the surgical oncologist have to coordinate schedules. Hopefully, it won't be too long.

This past week I have been back in the Washington DC area. Elizabeth had her back surgery on 11/1 and "Mom" came to help. The surgery went well and she is expecting a speedy recovery. Also, she received notification on Friday that she passed the NY Bar!! Great news!!

As luck would have it, on Friday I missed the first snowfall of the season in the NC mountains. I am a snow lover and I seem to always miss the snow. The temperatures will be back in the 60's when I get home on Monday 11/8.

Only 2 weeks until my newest grandson arrives. Pictures will be posted.

Anything but....PINK

October is almost over and I'm spending the end of the month at a lovely place with beautiful fall colors. Nothing pink about them. It's hard not to know that October is Breast Cancer Awareness month and pink is the chosen representative color. All of that is nice but, as the month ends, I can't help but wonder about a couple of things. Why, after all of these years, is it even necessary to still "find a cure". And, are too many profiting from the "power of pink"? There seem to be so many pink "breast cancer" items for sale. All promising to to donate anywhere from a few cents to few dollars of the purchase price to breast cancer research. I'm thinking that more than a few dollars go toward their "bottom line". Enough said.

I am at the Kripalu center, resting and rejuvenating. I've taken lovely walks in the woods, eaten healthy food and had several healing arts sessions which include massages and facials. On my walk to the lake yesterday, I passed many maple trees with their fallen leaves along the path. These leaves were from the type of maple that were in my childhood school yard and had a fragrance that I hadn't smelled in years. Instant transport back in time. I gathered a few pretty ones like I used to do as a child and pressed them in my journal. I'm trying hard to live in the moment but memories of the past are wonderful too.

On a sad note, I pay tribute to my cousin Susan Benton Small who died on Friday 10/22/2010. She was a remarkable, strong woman and my inspirational role model through chemotherapy. She will be missed.

Autumn Arrives

Fall arrived quickly this year. It might just seem that way to me because my summer was a blur. The leaves have started turning but are less dramatic than in years past and the last of my fall raspberries are ripening on the vine. I always miss my berries in the winter and look forward to their return in the summer.

Last week, I made an unplanned trip to the Washington DC area. My daughter, Elizabeth, was hospitalized for a couple of days with a ruptured disc and for pain management. I tried to be Momma the "Rescue Ranger" but didn't have the strength to do much more than drive her home from the hospital and to drug stores and grocery stores. She is managing to continue her classes at George Washington University, after an epidural, but still requires quite a bit of pain medication.

While I was in DC, my son Patrick was taken to the ER in Asheville, by ambulance, for a possible broken ankle. ( I say, what are my children trying to do to me?) By some miracle, although at the time it looked like a probable fracture, it is only a severe sprain. It was quite swollen so he had to be on crutches for a few days. He's still uncomfortable and that is limiting what he can and needs to do to get ready for the new baby in Nov. I know that must frustrating.

It's now a little over 3 weeks since I completed chemotherapy. I have to admit that I'm being impatient. I really thought that I'd feel "fantastic" by now. Hasn't happened yet. Any day now, I'm sure. I've been lax on my exercising lately and I know that exercise is important in regaining strength. The cooler temperatures in the morning have sure been an easy excuse to put off my walks.

My consultation with the plastic surgeon has had to rescheduled a couple of times. I will see him on Nov. 2nd and expect surgery to be shortly thereafter. But, it is very important that I'm feeling well by Nov. 22nd when my new grandson is due to arrive.

October is Breast Cancer Awareness month and all the fund raising will hopefully help to find The Cure. I missed the Paint it Pink rally at Pack Square in Asheville while I was in DC, but I did purchase items and have officially participated in "the wearing of the pink".

I am still scheduled for a rest and relaxation trip to the Kripalu Center in MA, Oct 24-27th. I had imagined myself doing lots of hiking, yoga and exercise. Silly me. My goals are now more realistic: rest, read, jacuzzi, massage, facial, healthy food and did I say rest?

Chemo + Ten

It's official, Chemo is over. The last treatment was 10 days ago.
I met with my Surgical Oncologist, Nathan Williams MD, last Thursday for follow up and to plan for the future. Although he would strongly encourage me to continue in the clinical trial, he supports my decision to opt out. We made a plan to schedule and coordinate surgery with a plastic surgeon, Dr. Conway. They will work together on the surgery and reconstruction. We are thinking mid November. Time is needed for all of the chemicals to get out of my system. That will give me time to enjoy my Kripalu retreat, a gift from my daughter Jennie. Kripalu is a yoga center in Lenox, MA. They offer seminars, yoga, tai chi, meditation, nature walks, massage and so much more. A place to really rest and rejuvenate. I will be R & R ing the end of Oct.
After surgery, my newest grandchild will be born (11/22). Joy trumps discomfort!
More good news. I do not need radiation because my tumor was small and the lymph nodes were negative. That's a relief! Other than for surgery, I will be seen at the Hope Center only about every 6 months.
Now, I just go back to being normal? ( Right! Funny!) All I have to do is get my strength back, have my mouth heal, grow hair, grow eyelashes, and hope that food will, someday, taste good. Shouldn't take long........
There is a Paint it Pink Rally at Pack Square in Asheville next Thursday (10/7) from 4:30 to 7:00p. I don't wear pink and have nothing that color in my wardrobe but I just ordered my first pink shirt. I plan to be there and be part of this effort to find a cure. Breast Cancer should be something that we only read about in history books, like the Black Plague or Scurvy.
October is Breast Cancer Month. Please get your mammograms and do your self breast exams. It can save your life!

My last Chemo... Where's the Bubble(s)?

Today was my last Taxol treatment and I've looked forward to it for so long. I have seen many women end their chemo and the staff make a nice announcement and anoint them with bubbles. I was so "psyched" for that today. The infusion went well and I had nice conversations with the nurses. They are great. One did confess that, at first, she was not looking forward to taking care of me because I'm a nurse. Nurses can be difficult patients. (Still way better than Doctors, I'm sure). Apparently, I passed the "nurse acid test" and was told that I was a good patient and a pleasure to care for. A very nice compliment.

The infusion finally ended and NO bubbles. What? Why? Did I count wrong? Do something wrong?

None of the above. It has to do with a clinical trial that I enrolled in voluntarily. After all, I am a nurse. We are altruistic and want to help the greater cause yada, yada...

The trial was unblinded a few weeks ago and I found out that I did not receive a placebo. I did in fact receive Bevacizumab at intervals during my chemo treatment. Good, right? Every little thing helps that might prevent metastasis. Here's the irony of it all. The group to which I was randomly assigned is scheduled to continue in 2 months with 10 more Bevacizumab infusions every 3 weeks. That's over 30 more weeks of "chemo". I truly thought that I'd get placebo or the 8 doses along with my regular chemo. It never crossed my mind that I'd be in the group to receive more. When I win, I lose.

Definitely, not in my plans for the next 7+ months or my life for that matter. I have places to go, people to see and things to do. I am planning on surgery (mastectomies) which can't be done while on this medication because it hinders wound healing and with that had planned to avoid radiation which is a requirement of the study. Both Bevacizumab and radiation can cause significant problems with your heart and I'm not prepared for that.

I've been scouring the internet for any clear evidence of the benefits of Bevacizumab and there isn't much so this study is about discovering if there are any long term benefits. I'm trying to weigh the risks versus the benefits. Risks keep winning but what if it turns out to be the "big cure" and I missed the boat?

I think that I see a consultation and maybe a second opinion in the near future.

So no Bubbles today and my own Bubble has definitely burst!!!

Happy, Happy and Happy!

Today is my birthday, my husband's birthday and our anniversary. It can't get much better than that!!! We had a great day. Went out to lunch and then to Asheville to see a cute movie: Flipped. A coming of age movie resembling the television series, The Wonder Years. Lots of music from the late 50's and early 60's which brought back so many memories. We were treated to lunch by Ashley and invited a neighbor, Judy. to join our table. Lovely company.
I'm getting my "chemo" bag ready for the last time. My pillow and blanket are packed. Next will be my computer, then book and then my snack. It is still hard to comprehend that tomorrow is my last Taxol treatment. Does that mean that I might actually start growing hair again?

The "Finish Line"

One finish line:
It is almost hard to believe, but I am rapidly approaching the chemotherapy finish line. My last chemo is Thursday Sept. 23rd. It has been a long haul, but I've made it.
Another Finish Line:
I was so surprised and left speechless when I found out that this weekend a friend and classmate, Diane Long (AKA Kader) from St. Elizabeth's School of Nursing in Yakima, Wa (class of '68) ran and crossed the finish line in the Susan G. Komen 5K Race for the Cure in Portland, OR. She made the decision to run just recently and trained for only 5 weeks. Way to go Kader! Diane ran for her cousin Pat who is a breast cancer survivor and for her classmate, me. This generous gift continues to bring tears to my eyes. There are no words to express my gratitude. It does prove that true friendships are not weakened by time or distance. Thank you Diane for being my friend.
Although, it has been over a decade since I've run, I plan to be ready to run beside Diane next year. Please join me.

9/2/10 Chemo Companion

While in town, my daughter Jennie accompanied me to chemo. Even though I was a bit "goofy" from the pre-chemo medications, we had a a great visit and the time passed so quickly.

MY "CHEMO" Sabes" and "CHEMO" Kazis

My "Chemo" Sabes and 'Chemo" Kazis

Today is "Chemo Thursday" and I am sitting in my chair receiving Taxol number 11/12. The second to last treatment. These weekly and the prior every 2 week visits to the Hope Cancer Care Center for Women was made so much easier thanks to my wonderful nurses that I now call my 'Chemo-sabes' and 'Chemo- kazis'. Because they made sure that I never felt like a Lone(ly) Ranger when I was under their care (Chemo-sabe's) and always used their best knowledge and skills to promote cancer cellular suicide (Chemo -kazi's).

Each week following treatment I have 2-3 days of fatigue about mid week but feel quite well just before and just after Chemo Thursday. Yesterday I even walked up our mountain, almost to the top. I was out over 2 hours but had to factor in 2 or 3 visits with neighbors along the way. Still a pretty good amount of exercise.

Thanks again to everyone for your calls, cards, prayers and best wishes. they are very important to me. I'm doing great and am getting ready to rejoin the healthy. Hope to even have hair one of these days.

And then there was 1!

Remember to exercise and eat a healthy, plant based (preferably organic) diet. Keep cancer out of your life.

11 down down, now there is one!

Fabulous Family 8/29 - 9/5/2010

Fathers and Sons

Colin McNicholas, Patrick Braswell, Quinn McNicholas, Jim McNicholas and Liam Braswell reading "Hands are not for Hitting" Ummm..

Colin, Patrick, Quinn, Jim and Liam.

Colin, Elizabeth, Jen, Aunt Betty , Liam, Patrick, Helen, Chris, Uncle John , Quinn and Jim

Liam

Elizabeth Chuck Karen Patrick Jim Jen

Colin Leigh Quinn

Ashley Chris Helen

Last week was very special with visits from my family who live around the country and around the world. Early in the week, my daughter Elizabeth stopped by for a few days on her way to Washington DC to start grad school. Daughter Jennie and son-in-law Jim visited from Tbilisi, Georgia (the country) with my wonderful but busy little grandsons, Quinn (3) and Colin (9mo). My son Patrick and daughter-in-law Karen came over from Asheville with my sweet and also busy grandson, Liam (3) and my step (but just like a real one) daughter Ashley, husband Chuck and beautiful granddaughter Leigh, who live in town, were here, too. Their paths crossed on Sunday the 29th for only about one hour but we managed to be here all together. It has been several years since we've accomplished that feat. Of course a family photo was mandatory.

We had very special visitors on Tuesday. The children's Great Aunt and Uncle drove from Lexington Kentucky to get a chance to see the children and the grandchildren. Aunt Betty and Uncle John Hembree were one of Kelley's (the children's father) favorites and that special feeling lives on in all of us. We love to visit and never have enough time to get "talked" out. Another group photo and we almost got everyone looking forward.

The cousins were able to get together several times during the week and they really enjoyed playing together. Notice the title of the book that the fathers are reading. Quite timely. Also notice the fancy black and blue splint on Quinn's left arm. His fingered got smashed between two bowling balls in Italy and he has a fractured middle finger. He has been very brave.

Elizabeth is now in DC staying with friends while she looks or housing. Classes have started. Jim and the boys flew to NY to visit Jim's brother Ed and his wife Nancy before flying back to Georgia on Saturday night. They are home and dealing with jet lag, trying to keep the boys from sleeping all day and staying up all night.

Jennie stayed over the weekend and then flew to DC for a business meeting. I enjoyed visiting with her and helping her shop for many of the staples she likes to take back to Georgia. She flew to DC on Monday and arrived back in Georgia this morning.

The house seems so quiet now. Of course that may also have something to do with the fact that it is 5 am. I can thank the steroids that I got today at chemo. Chemo updates to follow.