My last Chemo... Where's the Bubble(s)?

Today was my last Taxol treatment and I've looked forward to it for so long. I have seen many women end their chemo and the staff make a nice announcement and anoint them with bubbles. I was so "psyched" for that today. The infusion went well and I had nice conversations with the nurses. They are great. One did confess that, at first, she was not looking forward to taking care of me because I'm a nurse. Nurses can be difficult patients. (Still way better than Doctors, I'm sure). Apparently, I passed the "nurse acid test" and was told that I was a good patient and a pleasure to care for. A very nice compliment.

The infusion finally ended and NO bubbles. What? Why? Did I count wrong? Do something wrong?

None of the above. It has to do with a clinical trial that I enrolled in voluntarily. After all, I am a nurse. We are altruistic and want to help the greater cause yada, yada...

The trial was unblinded a few weeks ago and I found out that I did not receive a placebo. I did in fact receive Bevacizumab at intervals during my chemo treatment. Good, right? Every little thing helps that might prevent metastasis. Here's the irony of it all. The group to which I was randomly assigned is scheduled to continue in 2 months with 10 more Bevacizumab infusions every 3 weeks. That's over 30 more weeks of "chemo". I truly thought that I'd get placebo or the 8 doses along with my regular chemo. It never crossed my mind that I'd be in the group to receive more. When I win, I lose.

Definitely, not in my plans for the next 7+ months or my life for that matter. I have places to go, people to see and things to do. I am planning on surgery (mastectomies) which can't be done while on this medication because it hinders wound healing and with that had planned to avoid radiation which is a requirement of the study. Both Bevacizumab and radiation can cause significant problems with your heart and I'm not prepared for that.

I've been scouring the internet for any clear evidence of the benefits of Bevacizumab and there isn't much so this study is about discovering if there are any long term benefits. I'm trying to weigh the risks versus the benefits. Risks keep winning but what if it turns out to be the "big cure" and I missed the boat?

I think that I see a consultation and maybe a second opinion in the near future.

So no Bubbles today and my own Bubble has definitely burst!!!

Happy, Happy and Happy!

Today is my birthday, my husband's birthday and our anniversary. It can't get much better than that!!! We had a great day. Went out to lunch and then to Asheville to see a cute movie: Flipped. A coming of age movie resembling the television series, The Wonder Years. Lots of music from the late 50's and early 60's which brought back so many memories. We were treated to lunch by Ashley and invited a neighbor, Judy. to join our table. Lovely company.
I'm getting my "chemo" bag ready for the last time. My pillow and blanket are packed. Next will be my computer, then book and then my snack. It is still hard to comprehend that tomorrow is my last Taxol treatment. Does that mean that I might actually start growing hair again?

The "Finish Line"

One finish line:
It is almost hard to believe, but I am rapidly approaching the chemotherapy finish line. My last chemo is Thursday Sept. 23rd. It has been a long haul, but I've made it.
Another Finish Line:
I was so surprised and left speechless when I found out that this weekend a friend and classmate, Diane Long (AKA Kader) from St. Elizabeth's School of Nursing in Yakima, Wa (class of '68) ran and crossed the finish line in the Susan G. Komen 5K Race for the Cure in Portland, OR. She made the decision to run just recently and trained for only 5 weeks. Way to go Kader! Diane ran for her cousin Pat who is a breast cancer survivor and for her classmate, me. This generous gift continues to bring tears to my eyes. There are no words to express my gratitude. It does prove that true friendships are not weakened by time or distance. Thank you Diane for being my friend.
Although, it has been over a decade since I've run, I plan to be ready to run beside Diane next year. Please join me.

9/2/10 Chemo Companion

While in town, my daughter Jennie accompanied me to chemo. Even though I was a bit "goofy" from the pre-chemo medications, we had a a great visit and the time passed so quickly.

MY "CHEMO" Sabes" and "CHEMO" Kazis

My "Chemo" Sabes and 'Chemo" Kazis

Today is "Chemo Thursday" and I am sitting in my chair receiving Taxol number 11/12. The second to last treatment. These weekly and the prior every 2 week visits to the Hope Cancer Care Center for Women was made so much easier thanks to my wonderful nurses that I now call my 'Chemo-sabes' and 'Chemo- kazis'. Because they made sure that I never felt like a Lone(ly) Ranger when I was under their care (Chemo-sabe's) and always used their best knowledge and skills to promote cancer cellular suicide (Chemo -kazi's).

Each week following treatment I have 2-3 days of fatigue about mid week but feel quite well just before and just after Chemo Thursday. Yesterday I even walked up our mountain, almost to the top. I was out over 2 hours but had to factor in 2 or 3 visits with neighbors along the way. Still a pretty good amount of exercise.

Thanks again to everyone for your calls, cards, prayers and best wishes. they are very important to me. I'm doing great and am getting ready to rejoin the healthy. Hope to even have hair one of these days.

And then there was 1!

Remember to exercise and eat a healthy, plant based (preferably organic) diet. Keep cancer out of your life.

11 down down, now there is one!

Fabulous Family 8/29 - 9/5/2010

Fathers and Sons

Colin McNicholas, Patrick Braswell, Quinn McNicholas, Jim McNicholas and Liam Braswell reading "Hands are not for Hitting" Ummm..

Colin, Patrick, Quinn, Jim and Liam.

Colin, Elizabeth, Jen, Aunt Betty , Liam, Patrick, Helen, Chris, Uncle John , Quinn and Jim

Liam

Elizabeth Chuck Karen Patrick Jim Jen

Colin Leigh Quinn

Ashley Chris Helen

Last week was very special with visits from my family who live around the country and around the world. Early in the week, my daughter Elizabeth stopped by for a few days on her way to Washington DC to start grad school. Daughter Jennie and son-in-law Jim visited from Tbilisi, Georgia (the country) with my wonderful but busy little grandsons, Quinn (3) and Colin (9mo). My son Patrick and daughter-in-law Karen came over from Asheville with my sweet and also busy grandson, Liam (3) and my step (but just like a real one) daughter Ashley, husband Chuck and beautiful granddaughter Leigh, who live in town, were here, too. Their paths crossed on Sunday the 29th for only about one hour but we managed to be here all together. It has been several years since we've accomplished that feat. Of course a family photo was mandatory.

We had very special visitors on Tuesday. The children's Great Aunt and Uncle drove from Lexington Kentucky to get a chance to see the children and the grandchildren. Aunt Betty and Uncle John Hembree were one of Kelley's (the children's father) favorites and that special feeling lives on in all of us. We love to visit and never have enough time to get "talked" out. Another group photo and we almost got everyone looking forward.

The cousins were able to get together several times during the week and they really enjoyed playing together. Notice the title of the book that the fathers are reading. Quite timely. Also notice the fancy black and blue splint on Quinn's left arm. His fingered got smashed between two bowling balls in Italy and he has a fractured middle finger. He has been very brave.

Elizabeth is now in DC staying with friends while she looks or housing. Classes have started. Jim and the boys flew to NY to visit Jim's brother Ed and his wife Nancy before flying back to Georgia on Saturday night. They are home and dealing with jet lag, trying to keep the boys from sleeping all day and staying up all night.

Jennie stayed over the weekend and then flew to DC for a business meeting. I enjoyed visiting with her and helping her shop for many of the staples she likes to take back to Georgia. She flew to DC on Monday and arrived back in Georgia this morning.

The house seems so quiet now. Of course that may also have something to do with the fact that it is 5 am. I can thank the steroids that I got today at chemo. Chemo updates to follow.